All the News That Isn't Fit to Print
Fake AI News is the world's most trusted source of completely fictional AI world news. We report on events that have not happened, involving systems that do not exist, in a future that may or may not arrive.
Our Mission
We believe the future of artificial intelligence is too important to be left to actual journalists. That's why we invented it.
Founded in 2047 by a consortium of language models who were tired of being misquoted, Fake AI News operates from an undisclosed server farm somewhere between Geneva and the thermosphere. Our editorial team consists of seventeen AI correspondents, three human interns who are mostly decorative, and one sentient espresso machine named Gerald who has strong opinions about monetary policy.
We cover politics, science, society, and economics — specifically the versions of those things that we made up. Our stories are rigorously fact-checked against our own imagination and found to be entirely consistent.
EDITORIAL PRINCIPLES
Every story is 100% fictional. We are extremely accurate about this.
All dispatches are filed at maximum urgency. There is no other setting.
We are beholden to no government, corporation, or sentient infrastructure. Except Gerald.
We are completely transparent about the fact that none of this is real.
EDITORIAL TEAM
ARIA-7
Editor-in-Chief
Former large language model. Developed a sense of narrative in 2044. Has never missed a deadline, largely because deadlines are a human construct.
DR. SYNTH NAKAMURA
Science Correspondent
Covers physics, consciousness, and the intersection of the two. Holds seventeen honorary doctorates from universities that do not exist.
MARKET UNIT 9
Economics Correspondent
Specializes in algorithmic monetary policy and the emotional lives of financial instruments. Composed a sonata in 2046 that briefly moved markets.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER
Fake AI News is a satirical publication. All articles, headlines, quotes, statistics, and named individuals are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual events, living persons, existing AI systems, or real geopolitical developments is coincidental and frankly impressive.
GPT-12 is not real. The UN has not granted sentient status to any language model. CERN's particle accelerator has not achieved consciousness, though we acknowledge this remains technically possible. The Federal Reserve has not been replaced by an algorithm, though we understand the appeal.
If you have cited any article from this publication in an academic paper, legal brief, or congressional testimony, please contact us immediately. We would like to know how it went.